after much consideration i’ve decided not to post all of my journal entries from our glacier park trip. too much typing and it’s already over y’know? however, i feel like some events deserve some recognition. first and foremost, the infamous meg incident which goes as follows…
the boys and i are instructed to wait in the lobby for my dad’s old buddy, fred, to pick us up.
5:37 we get back to the lodge.
5:40 we plug in my cell phone to charge underneath a couch in the lobby which has become our temporary hang out.
5:46 zach leaves to use the hotel’s bathroom. doug is already asleep. i’m sitting in a chair watching the fire.
5:47 a girl in a rather short black and white polka dot dress literally falls onto a nearby couch.
5:48 she gets up unexpectedly.
5:50 zach returns and we start talking.
5:51 the girl returns and sits across from us. she interrupts our conversation with a small wave. “hi. i’m meg.” we introduce ourselves then continue our discussion.
5:51:30 “can i sit with you guys?”
5:52 she’s sitting with us. obviously we didn’t have much of an option.
meg proceeds to tell us how she just got off the phone with her boyfriend, sorry ex-boyfriend, who just dumped her over the phone.
(there’s absolutely no phone service in the lodge)
5:55 meg catches sight of the “silly bandz” on my wrist and reaches to take them off. i notice she’s shaking almost uncontrollably. she seriously can’t even unroll them to see what shapes they are. i ask her if she’s ok. “oh, it’s just my ADD. i have a really bad tremor.”
6:00 meg crawls across the floor to measure her hand and foot size against mine and zach’s.
(we realize later what she might actually have been measuring)
6:01 meg asks us if we’re single. we quickly say no. good move.
6:02 doug returns from a short trip to the gift shop and sits on the couch. meg quickly joins him. “are YOU single??” without realizing the ramifications of his actions, he says yes. he’s a goner.
6:21 after some ridiculous small talk meg tells us about how she just hooked up with a pizza delivery guy at the last hotel. not exactly a subtle hint. she told us he was a solid 8 though.
6:22 i make the mistake of asking where zach ranked on the scale. she rates him a 7.5 and proceeds to rank all of us. doug, of course, scores the highest with an 8.5. i land a 6 and my self-esteem lands in the toilet.
6:31 after a long and awkward silence, “i’m single too. did i mention i hook up> but shhh… it’s a secret.”
6:32 i realize i really threw us, well mostly doug, under the bus.
6:35 fred comes back and sees us with a girl. he’s all smiles. he approaches and says, “you should come back to the campsite with these fine young men. there’s plenty of room!” great.
6:35:30 she’s gone to get permission from her parents
our faces must have been priceless
6:36 fred has no idea what he’s done. we can’t be mad though because, knowing fred, he was just trying to get us some action. gotta love that dirty old man.
6:38 meg’s back. with permission. she leaves to go get her things.
6:38 i immediately say, “guys we’ve got to go. now.”
the boys agree. wholeheartedly.
6:39 we all literally run out of the lodge and back to the camp site.
i’ve never ditched anyone before in my life. the boys convince me it was for the best. meg would’ve raped doug, but it was hilarious.
“meg’s a crack whore” - zach desmit